I'm really grateful my family and I have lived here in Arizona these last nearly 4 years. That has been wonderful because I have been able to visit my grandma and grandpa much more often than I had in years. Because they were less than 2 hours away, I would visit regularly up in Mesa, the last time being in December when grandma was in hospice. Once I heard she was there, I hurried up there. I was told she was slipping fast and often people don't last very long once there so I didn't want to miss a good final visit. Thankfully, during our visit, I found her lucid and great to converse with remembering both old times and things that had happened that morning and the day before. I was grateful to find the same grandma I had remembered.
My conversations with her over the most recent years have concerned her life, her upbringing, family history, her perspective and opinions on events that I had never heard before. Some of the best stuff I remember include--
~her experiences as a military wife- I asked her advice on how to make it seeing as that will likely be my future. She said to make lots of friends because they can relate to what you're going through, support you and will become lifelong friends.;
~mother of 3- she had many stories to tell of each child, especially and repeatedly one of my dad, the eldest. As an infant, he was unwilling to let his mother put him down during dinner prep so she had to make dinner while carrying him around on many occasions, which was very difficult (I can relate- Amelia can be this way sometimes); also how she or grandpa had to bounce my dad to sleep as a baby and continue bouncing him to keep him asleep.;
~hairdresser- she worked off and on over the years at various shops even having her own shop at one time but finally hanging it up once her arthritis got so bad. I asked her advice in cutting my boys' hair (a motherly duty I do not enjoy) and she simply said it takes practice- darn, I was hoping for some secret formula :) ;
~travel- she and grandpa always liked to take trips. Even with a young family, they were always going camping and seeing the sites of wherever they were stationed. Some of their favorite trips while being stationed in England and Germany were to Austria, Switzerland, Eastern Germany and Italy. As retirees, they had motor homes they drove all over the US and Mexico too.
My grandma had never been a shy person, on the contrary, always very talkative. She could carry a conversation all by herself, and often did in her marriage. By nature, my grandpa is very quiet. With her passing, and even as she was nearing the end, I think I've heard him speak more than ever having to explain her condition, her doctor's appointments and speaking of his military experiences (which Ammon and I asked him about because he served in both the Army, being a Korean War veteran, and in the Air Force). I admire the great example my grandparents have been, having just celebrated 58 years of marriage in December. On several occasions I told them I appreciated their good, strong marriage and example of love and support they showed for each other. They are good people and I will greatly miss my grandma.
[Ammon's grandparents have been like my own grandparents too (much because they too are members of the Church- that brings so much common ground, interests, understanding and goals). Both of Ammon's grandparents have lost one spouse in the last 3 years. Ammon's grandpa Larsen 3 years ago (see blog post "Ammon's gradpa was a good man") and Ammon's grandma Maughan dying 2 years ago February 13th. It's easy to remember her passing now since it was just 3 days and 1 year before Amelia and Abigail's birth (and Abigail's death), February 16th. It's hard to see these strong folks go. I appreciate their lasting examples and love for me and my family. Surprisingly, I still have a great-grandmother alive! She is 96 and lives in Oklahoma.]
I admire that my grandma was always smiling and very positive despite the constant pain she was in. I can't imagine living every moment with the level of pain she did. The poor woman must have always hurt but she never let it show. If you asked her how she felt, she'd either avoid talking about it or would admit it hurt but nonchalantly say how there really wasn't anything that could be done about it so she would live with it the best she could. She was a good example of "come what may and love it" (Elder Wirthlin). We will miss you grandma!!!
Some pictures from our last visit in their home on Veteran's Day (November 11, 2010):
