I feel I need to open up a bit more and let you know our family- struggles, scars and all. I'm wanting to treat my blog a bit more like a journal than I have so far so forgive me for my excessive babbling.
A dear friend of mine emailed me for an update on our lives. Besides what she reads on the blog, she wanted to know a bit of our personal goings on. Here's a bit of what I said and thought I'd share it with you all.
"For the most part, we're doing alright these days. We've been doing lots of projects, I keep busy with my calling and also organizing our ward playgroup. Connor and I go to our playgroup as well as another one plus we try to get out to something else several days a week. I think it's really important for him to have this socialization since there are no siblings yet to fill that need! Connor is also in preschool a couple days a week which he loves. Hopefully it'll help him be ready for all-day kindergarten next year. I can't believe it- both that kindergarten is all day (this is the only option in AZ) and that he'll be old enough to be in kindergarten!! My baby is growing up! I can't believe you used to watch him when he was an infant. Wow, how time flies. And look at your family- when you were watching Connor, you only had 2 kids- then along came 3 more miracles-- just amazing. Your family is an inspiration.
Update on the baby front for us- you know we started all the testing in CO. Then since we moved here, we did a little with my OB-GYN. That failed and we put off seeing a specialist because it would be a huge expense, all out-of-pocket. We've been seeing a reproductive endocrinologist for a couple months now. He said our chances are extremely good to get pregnant because neither of us have anything wrong with us. That's just the most annoying diagnosis you can get "unexplained infertility"- it's so frustrating because there's nothing you can do! We're trying various interventions before we do the very costly invitro-fertilization, which the doctor said would have a 95% success rate for us considering "no problems" and my age being under 35. I have a friend I walk with that went to him and had triplets! Ammon and I are hopeful (multiples would be very welcome at this point because we have such a huge age gap with Connor almost being 5). We'll keep you posted!"
As many of you know, and the others that surely have figured it out, that we have been experiencing "secondary infertility." We have been trying to get pregnant again for over 4 years. It's been extremely frustrating but I know God is in charge. Looking back, I can see it's been a learning experience. It's made me go to the Lord much more earnestly than I had before. It's helped me understand the Atonement so much more. Christ suffered not only for my sins (and everyone else's) but for my heartache and anguish over disappointments, sadness I feel, struggles, fears and so on. He truly gets it and can help me through anything. I have felt strengthened and I know everything will be just as it should be. Thank you all for your love and support.
6 comments:
I'm so glad you posted this melanie. These ARE the kinds of things I wonder about, and it's nice to see what's happening in your life, but also what you're feeling, thinking and struggling with. we love you. Love and prayers for you and your family.
Thanks for sharing that Melanie, we like to read about what is going on in your personal lives. We hope you get pregnant soon, and if that's not God's will, then we hope you can continue to find the comfort you need to get you through it. Our fingers are crossed for multiples!!
Melanie, you are just amazing. What else is there to say? You have such a great attitude and use challenges to make you better instead of bitter. I love reading about all your excursions with Connor, your family trips (I mean, who else is adventurous enough to make a road trip to the depths of MEXICO?), and your home improvement projects. We will keep you in our prayers.
Well, I just have to say, that kids or no more kids, you are great parents already.
As you say, it's all out of your hands. Of course, I would welcome more happy news! But we just have to take each day as it comes.
I do know, that c. 10% of all fertile couples are infertile TOGETHER, for a complex of reasons. Maybe you two were just lucky the first time? I know, luck is a crappy word. But the odds are you will have another kiddo, and yes, multiples would be very cool: especially since YOU would have to raise them and not us! :)
Love to you all, DDD (Doug)
Melanie, you are just so strong and positive, you always have been. What an inspiration you are to us all! I know that things will work out for the best, although you may not always see that...(don't you just hate hearing that in the mist of a trial!) You are such an incrediable mother. Connor is so, SO very blessed! We hope for the best for you, you're in our prayers.
BTY-LOVED the live Nativity! What an awesome experience for you and Connor!
Hey Mel, that is true what you said, that everything is as it should be. I think you are both doing everything you can and that's all you can do. You are very wise to trust in God's plan because I know he has one for you and you will eventually see it. Keep us updated on your treatments! Love ya!
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