Mother's Day

So on Mother's Day we headed up to the cemetary where we have our precious Abigail buried.

(I'll post more about the funeral and burial later- it's been enough time that I think I can write about it soon).

I was so choked up with emotion here. I hated seeing GRASS starting to grow on her grave!! That means it's been awhile since she's been gone and I hate that thought. It's painful and jerks at my heart all over again. The grave seems so final (even though I know it's not...).

Quite a juxtaposition- my living daughter next to my spiritually alive yet physically dead (http://mormon.org/faq/life-after-death/) daughter at her earthly resting place.

 

My boys resting (Amelia was asleep) while I pondered and thought. What mixed emotions I had! Here I was celebrating "Mother's day"...not with all my children...in a cemetary. I struggled with those feelings of loss all over again. But I do have to say, having had twins and still having one has helped to fill the gaping hole I had in my heart when my Abigail passed away. This first holiday was pretty hard for me.

Easter was more hopeful than I anticipated (the joy of the resurrection due to Christ's Atonement http://mormon.org/faq/atonement-of-christ/ swallowed up my pain) so that day does not hold sad memories for me. Of course I still cried but they were hope-filled tears of joy.

Silly cowboy boot in my face ;)

We're all here

Daydreaming

Our sleeping princess

Hope

Great-grandparents: After the cemetary, we visited with my grandparents in Chandler. This was their first time seeing Amelia since she was released from the hospital. My grandparents weren't able to visit Amelia in the hospital due to grandma's health. 

Amelia being held by her great-grandma Rosemary Spears.

With (Great) Aunt LaDonna (her first time seeing her too).