Melanie's talk at Abigail's funeral

First I wish to thank all of you for your amazing support to our family during this most trying time in our lives. We feel so blessed to know all of you and to have felt the love of your association. You don’t know how much it has meant to have our needs met so adequately by our dear ward, friends and family. Your help has been true Christian service in action.

It began when I was on home bedrest then hospital bedrest. I felt so inadequate and unable to fulfill the needs of my family and was gratefully able to depend so capably on so many of you. Thank you. Words cannot express how much comfort it gave to me as a wife and mother to have my boys taken care of while I was taking care of my girls.
Now I wish to express how we feel how we were carefully prepared for this experience, and how our girls are answers to years of prayers and fasting and how both of our babies are miracles.
Preparation-
When Ammon and I heard the news of Abigail’s fatal birth defect, our first reaction was naturally one of shock and sadness. But, as we prayed, attended the temple, discussed and worked through this together, we came to a place of great calm, peace and acceptance of God’s plan. I I know that we don’t choose such paths in our lives but God knows what we can handle and what situations and experiences to give us to make us into the people He knows we can be and needs us to be.

I wholeheartedly feel that we were prepared for such an experience as this. I often think that we needed the 5 years between Connor’s birth and the birth of our girls to have a chance to prepare. God’s timing is perfect in our lives. Now I know no one should have to bury a child but, I wouldn’t change what I’ve experienced through it all. I have most assuredly never felt more supported and cared for by an all-loving, kind Heavenly Father than now in my life. He knows my weaknesses and what trials to give me personally to strengthen me and I feel that is exactly what has happened.
Answers to prayer-
For years Ammon and I ached and prayed to have more children. We would try not to focus on it and told ourselves we would just let it happen but it seemed to be taking forever. Finally, when we became pregnant, I felt to rejoice with barren Hannah from the Bible who said

“For this child I prayed and the Lord hast heard my prayer.”

We absolutely feel that our prayers have been answered in blessing us with our wonderful girls. Even though Abigail won’t be staying with us, we know God has a plan for her and for us.

Accordingly, we tried to give the girls middle names of significance to reflect their special place in our family. Amelia’s middle name is Arabella meaning “answered prayer” and Abigail’s is Grace for we know that it is by the grace of God that our family will be eternally together after doing all we can to be the best we can be.

Miracles-
Our babies are miracles in that they both were conceived by the miracle of modern medicine. AND also, that I had many complications throughout my pregnancy, any one of which could and should have taken our babies. The scare that landed me in the hospital 7 weeks ago was much more serious than I first thought. When we came into the hospital at 25 weeks gestation, the doctors really thought I would deliver the girls that day. The chance of even our healthy daughter, Amelia, making it was less than 50% and if she did, she would likely have been left with severe disabilities.

Ammon and I knew of Abigail’s birth defect and eventual outcome early on and felt she was placed in the womb with Amelia for a special reason. We constantly prayed that I would be able to remain pregnant until Amelia was more viable. I really feel Abigail was there to help Amelia to thrive. Our Abigail was a blessing from the start. She was often the more active twin and I could tell that her little spirit delighted at having a little body. She would kick and move all the time letting me know “mom, I’m here!” Often on the ultrasounds she would give her sister little love pats and was almost always head to head with her. I know the girls have developed a special bond that death cannot break.

As my girls continued to grow during those extra weeks, my faith in God also grew. It is always faith that precedes the miracle. Our miracle was that, despite being born early and now in the NICU, Amelia is strong and doing wonderfully. I want to thank Abigail for sticking through this difficult pregnancy and being there for her sister. I’ve grown to love that little girl so much and will always have the most special place in my heart for her. I am so honored to be her mother. I love her more than words can express.

In Conclusion-
I know God loves and cares for us and lets us experience hard times precisely because of His love. He knows we won’t grow and stretch if we don’t have some hard times to work through. I have just been on bedrest for most of my pregnancy and have had two babies but I hope to soon get back to physical activity. I know I can’t expect to get back a fit physical body without resistance just as I can’t expect some bumps along my life’s path. Both are necessary for the desired benefit.

I want with all my heart to love God and be better all the time. His plan is one of progression and I feel expanded and even blessed through these series of trials, including that of losing my beloved daughter. Losing a child- no one should have to bury a child but I feel comforted and strengthened by this experience and have felt peaceful support from the Holy Spirit even in the midst of the trial.

I take comfort in the words of modern day prophets including a quote from President Dieter Uchtdorf:

“No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations.”

I know that death is not the end. Families can be together forever. Jesus Christ’s sacrifice has made it possible to turn our tragedies into triumphs. I love him for his offering.

I hope all of you can feel the power of God’s love, Jesus Christ’s sacrifice and the comfort of the Holy Spirit in your lives as well.

Now in closing I want to share a song that appears in the French hymnal I've sung to Connor and I sang to Abigail before we said goodbye that night we let her go...

Souviens toi…
Remember when my child each day here
We were friends, playing in the wind
Then one day in the joy we chose
To accept of the Lord the Great Plan of Life
That evening, my child, we chose to accept
By love, by faith, to be reunited.

Remember when my child
The tress and the cities
Each day here we have chosen
To accept!

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.